Live Me Page 15

  There. That’s a good word.

  “I’m all ears.” Blake kept his focus straight ahead, knowing this wouldn’t be easy for me.

  I couldn’t believe I was about to admit this to him and give him a glimpse inside my world. “The word beautiful.” I shivered involuntarily just saying it now. “Though I appreciate the sentiment, and I’ve tried to push past it—trigger.” I was keeping things honest, yet simple.

  He glanced down briefly at me and I continued. “Putting your thumb in my mouth—yes, sexy as all hell, and yes, you taste delicious, but—trigger.”

  He still looked concerned, but the corner of his mouth twitched.

  “Both of them together, well, you witnessed that one firsthand.” I peered up at him and braced myself for the look one gives when they’re in the presence of a crazy person. I mean, who goes berserk when a guy calls them beautiful? This psycho, that’s who.

  Instead, a broad smile stretched the spectrum of his perfect features, and his dimple winked at me. “You think I taste delicious, huh?”

  “What? I . . . um . . .” Oh my god, I did say that, didn’t I?

  “It’s okay, I think you’re pretty scrumptious yourself.” He chuckled. “Don’t be embarrassed. I’m flattered. And glad you finally admitted you feel something too for a change. I was beginning to get a complex.”

  I blinked at him. That hadn’t gone at all like I pictured. “Yeah, so um, anyway, now you know. Steer clear of those things, and we should be okay.”

  “Noted. Thanks for the heads up. And you’re forgiven.” He squeezed my hand. “But now you owe me a cupcake. Those bad boys are not meant to be wasted. Your punishment for the way you reacted will commence upon the next lesson on how to eat them.” His eyes blazed, dripping with humor and promise. And again he’d managed to evoke the little sexy-place tingle that let me know I was alive, sending a buzzing thrum that started in my most intimate parts and traveled throughout my entire body.

  I forced myself to respond without giving away my disability. “Deal.” Then I smiled at how easy that was. Every time I turned around, there was another reason why Blake was so amazing. Instead of making me feel self-conscious or ashamed, he’d just made a joke and accepted my apology, making me feel comfortable during an awkward situation. The guy just kept proving himself over and over, and I wondered for the millionth time why I was fighting this so hard.

  Tonight was chillier than it had been, and by the time we reached my steps, I realized I wasn’t dressed appropriately in my jean skirt and halter top. A cool breeze sent a chill snaking over my skin, and I shivered.

  Noticing how cold I was, Blake turned toward me and wrapped me in his arms. “Thanks for sharing that with me. I know it probably wasn’t easy for you.”

  “Thank you for understanding after what I did.” My head instinctively burrowed into his chest, and his scent invaded my nostrils, weakening my resolve further.

  He slid his finger under my chin and tilted it up so I couldn’t avoid the seriousness in his eyes. “I’ll always understand. I want you to open up to me. There’s nothing you can’t tell me, remember that. I’ve meant everything I’ve said since the day I met you. Let me in. I won’t judge you. I want to help.”

  There was no helping me. I couldn’t be helped. Taking a small step backward, I dropped my arms, but he caught them in his hands, keeping us close. “Well, thanks for walking me home. I guess I’ll see you in class tomorrow?”

  His mouth pressed into a hard line at my curtness. As understanding as he always was, he recuperated quickly and lowered his lips to place a soft kiss to the top of my head. I wondered how long it would take before he gave up on me. I dreaded that day.

  “Goodnight, Angel.” He stood back and stuck his hands in his pockets, his jaw tense as he rocked back on his heels.

  Reluctantly, I walked away, feeling him staring, waiting for me to make it safely inside. But when my foot hit the step, I halted as a wave of emotions rolled through me. I needed him to know his efforts weren’t in vain. That I was grateful to him—for him.

  I turned and rushed back to him before I lost my nerve. His hands dropped from his pockets, and his eyebrows knitted together, uncertain of me and my rapidly changing mood swings. I placed my hands on his shoulders and pushed up on my tippy toes, placing a soft kiss on his cheek and letting my lips linger there for a moment longer than necessary. When I pulled back, his eyes were wide and he was trying to tame his breath.

  “Goodnight, Blake.” Then I turned and sprinted into my apartment without looking back.

  I tapped my pen at a feverish pace as Professor Sorrenson handed our graded exams back. This was the first grade of my college academic career, and I was anxious to see how I did. Lord knew I studied enough. It was hard to believe a month had passed since I arrived here, alone and scared. So much had happened in that short period of time that it felt like a lifetime ago.

  I’d already forged irreplaceable bonds with new friends—which, besides Jace, was something I hadn’t done in a very long time. I also saw Blake on an almost daily basis. True to his word, he was slowly becoming my new BFF. The flirting never ceased, but I knew it went further than that and he truly did care about me.

  I’d grown a habit of messing with him, trying to hook him up with random females, but he always managed to come up with a new excuse as to why they weren’t his type. “Her hair is too short,” or “Her eyes are too close together,” or my personal favorite, “She smells like a wet Band-Aid”. The longer it went on, the more outlandish his reasoning became. It was a fun game we’d adopted, where I pretended not to care, but to tell you the truth, I didn’t think I could handle it if he ever took me up on one of my offers.

  “Nervous¸ babe?”

  “Huh? Oh . . . yeah.” I blinked out of my haze, glancing over at Blake and his concerned face.

  “Don’t worry, I’m sure you did fine. This is your favorite subject, remember?” He reached over and brushed his thumb over the top of my hand. He was always doing this, touching me in little ways to soothe my nerves or comfort me.

  “Thanks. I just have so much riding on all this, and I’ve been such an unfocused mess since I got here.”

  “Evangelina Ricci.” The sound of my name had nervous-queasies spiraling through my belly.

  Here goes nothing.

  I sent Blake an anxious smile. He patted my hand before pulling his away and folding them on top of his desk.

  With trepidation, I made my way to the front of the class from all the way back in the V.I.P section. I hoped I wouldn’t be doing the walk of shame on my retreat.

  I could tell as I approached the professor’s desk the news wouldn’t be good.

  “Evangelina, I think you need to apply yourself a little more. I can tell you have great potential but your work is lacking.” With a disappointed look on his face, Professor Sorrenson reluctantly handed over the same little blue booklet I’d held in my hand the week prior.

  I glanced down at the red, bold-faced seventy-three staring back at me. “Sorry, sir. I’ll try harder next time.” I trudged on back to my seat and slid into my desk, shoulders hunched, clutching the mocking pieces of paper.

  But I studied! How had I let this happen? I’d have to kick my own ass to get my GPA where I needed it to be now.

  Fanfuckingtastic.

  Blake slid back into his seat. His lips were dipped low in the corners, and he wouldn’t look me in the eyes. By the look on his face, I didn’t have to ask how he’d done. Better than me. Peering at my paper, he offered me a sympathetic smile. “It’s not so bad.”

  “Shut up. It’s bad and you know it,” I bit back.

  “Well, it’s not great, but it could be worse.”

  “I’ll never be able to salvage this.” I threw the booklet down in frustration.

  “Sure you will, if you let me help you.” He looked at me hopeful.

  I dreaded having to agree to this since the first time he offered. I didn’t like asking people for help
. I buried my face in the crook of my arm and swayed my head back and forth.

  No. No. No.

  “Come on. I’ll make it fun. I promise.” He rubbed soothing circles on my back.

  I talked into my arm. “Fine.” I could feel satisfaction oozing from his pores and was already second guessing my decision. “Don’t make me regret this.”

  “Me?” He acted shocked and hurt at my insinuation.

  I snapped my head in his direction. “Yes, you. And quit acting all innocent. I know you better than that, Mr. Turner.”

  Blake turned his attention back to the front of the room, but he couldn’t help the huge grin slithering across his face. “I don’t have a clue what you’re talking about.”

  My footsteps echoed on the wood floor as I searched for an unoccupied table. I couldn’t believe I’d agreed to this. I claimed a vacant seat, and thumbed through my nasty little blue book while I waited, unable to figure out where I’d gone wrong.

  “May I?” Blake whispered loudly in my ear, gesturing to the empty seat beside me. His warm breath prickled my skin.

  “Stop doing that to me,” I chastised in a harsh whisper, grabbing my chest.

  “Doing what? It’s a library. We need to whisper.”

  “Just behave. No funny business or I’m leaving.”

  He held up his hands and leaned back, adding space. “I didn’t know we needed to be so formal. Is this an acceptable distance, Miss Ricci?”

  “Yes, thank you.” Truth was, I couldn’t concentrate with his heat so close. His aura wrapped around my brain like a snake, smothering it until I couldn’t think straight. Which is probably why I had failed in the first place. Who could concentrate with a sex-exuding god sitting mere inches from you?

  “Hand over your booklet. Let’s start with that.”

  Reluctantly, I slid the horrid little book across the table.

  His beautiful fingers glided back and forth over his squared off chin while he read through my pages. That one action only amplified my awareness of him.

  “Hmph.”

  “What?” I stretched my neck over his shoulder, wondering what he saw.

  “Your use of superlatives is excessive, don’t you think?”

  I frowned. “Super-la-what?”

  “Superlatives. Best. Most. Widest. Longest. I know you’re trying to make a point, but everything can’t be superior. Calm down with that.”

  “Okay,” I drew out. Now he’d piqued my interest. Originally, I wasn’t sure what I would take away from this little study session besides some wet panties, but maybe he knew more about all this than I thought. I couldn’t help but stare as he drummed his fingers against his lips. Giving the bottom lip a little tug, oblivious to my growing discomfort, he continued, “And you’re misusing your vocabulary.”

  “What do you mean?” Professor Sorrenson had given us a bunch of words to use in our essays, and I meticulously memorized every single one of them. I was sure of it.

  “The words. You’re mixing them all up.”

  “That can’t be. I studied them so much, they’re imprinted in my brain for life.” I squeaked in a harsh whisper.

  “I’m telling you, Angel.” He read from my booklet, “The digital nascent in which we live is making human interaction non-existent? When technology was milieu, one could never have predicted the solitude it would bring forth?” He raised his brows, waiting for the light bulb to go off.

  I snatched the paper from his grasp, scanning it in disbelief. “Oh my god, I did! What’s wrong with me?” The professor must think I didn’t even bother to learn them. I banged my head on the desk.

  “It’s okay. I’ll teach you my little trick.” He folded a page vertically and began to write words down the left margin. Then he opened it and inside the hidden piece, he wrote the definitions. “When you’re not with me, this is how you’re going to test yourself. Keep the answers hidden and don’t stop until you get them all right. Also, we’re going to make sentences for each of them you couldn’t possibly forget. Trust me.” There was that evil glint again.

  “You really know your stuff, huh?” I rested my chin in my palm and looked at him, even more impressed than before.

  “It’s a gift, what can I say.” He rubbed his chin, deep in thought. “So, nascent—to begin to exist. There is a nascent ache burning in my chest for you. Say that sentence three times.” His lip twitched, trying to contain his amusement.

  “Wise-ass.”

  “I’m serious.”

  “Come on,” I whined.

  He tapped his pen on the paper impatiently. “I’m waiting. I don’t have all day.”

  I let out a puff of air. “There is a nascent ache burning in my chest for you.”

  “Again.”

  I rolled my eyes. “There is a nascent ache burning in my chest for you.”

  He smirked. “One more time.” He inclined his ear in my direction and tapped on the lobe.

  I rushed through. “There is a nascent ache burning in my chest for you.”

  His hand covered his chest as he batted his eyelashes. “Why, Evangelina, I’m flattered.”

  “Very funny,” I said sarcastically. But he was right—I would never forget that word again.

  The next twenty minutes consisted of every word on that list being used in more unforgettable sentences. I never realized the word quell could be dirty, or any of the words for that matter. The guy had a talent.

  Staring at my booklet, I was oblivious to the fact he’d inched closer to me during our testing session.

  His warm breath at the soft spot below my ear made my belly clench. He pressed his chest against my side and pointed to the page in front of me. “Also, see right here where you keep using the same words over and over? That’s called an echo. You need to find other words and substitute them. It’ll flow better and be easier to read,” he whispered, burrowing his nose into my hair.

  My head tilted into him, his pull on me as magnetic as ever. I swallowed long and hard, willing my lungs to cease their need for oxygen so I didn’t have to breathe in his intoxicating scent. “You’re in my personal space.” Damn my voice for sounding so shaky.

  He brushed his nose down the side of my neck. “I just wanted to be sure not to disturb anyone else. We are in a library, after all.”

  “I can assure you, you don’t have to be that close in order for them not to hear you.”

  He chuckled, the sound deep and sensual. “True, but it was a good excuse to get close to you for as long as I could get away with it.” He dragged his lips up the length of my neck and nipped my earlobe.

  I gasped. “What’re you doing?”

  “It’s Tuesday.” He smiled and chomped down on his jaw, reminding me of when we’d first met and that he too bites on Tuesdays.

  Although my body was reeling, I covered it up with a burst of laughter, then quickly stifled it under my palm. “Remind me to steer clear of you on Tuesdays then. Sheesh. I didn’t know I needed to take you seriously if I didn’t want to become your next meal.”

  He leaned dangerously close, forcing me to bend back so far in my chair the top of it bit into my shoulder blades. “Angel, I would make you the appetizer, main course and dessert if you’d let me. You have no idea what my mouth is capable of. I would devour you inch by delicious fucking inch, and lick my fingers clean afterwards.”

  I was wordless, unable to form a coherent thought. Even here, in a library, he had my heart pounding and my hormones raging. I itched to plunge my fingers into his hair and pull his mouth to mine. This attraction was all-consuming and it was becoming harder and harder to say no.

  “You just let me know when you’re ready.” His eyes flicked to my lips, and my cheeks turned to flames.

  “Why do you do this to me?” My voice gave away my weakness.

  His serious gaze never faltered. He almost looked pained and the sincerity in his words shocked me. “I need you to know how I feel, Angel. I’ll try every chance I get to convince you you’re made
for me. No regrets. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, and I can’t just ignore it. Whether you admit it or not, I can tell you’re drawn to me, too. You just keep fighting it.” He moved closer still, pinning me to the pressed wood at my back. “Give into it, to this.” He brushed his fingertips along my jaw and my eyes fluttered closed.

  I took a fortifying inhale but didn’t move from his touch. “Why don’t you stop? You’re relentless.”

  “I can’t, I told you. As long as you’ll have me around, I’ll never stop. Not until you’re mine. You should just accept that you want me already so we can move on from here.” With a confident smirk, he ghosted his fingers down my arm and squeezed my hip.

  How did he always get the upper hand? I swallowed hard and my voice came out in a barely audible whisper, “You forget I have a—”

  “Boyfriend?” He scoffed. “Yeah, I’ve heard. You forget, I don’t really care. Let me ask you this, where is he, Evangelina? Not a very worthy adversary if you ask me. How can he go weeks on end without seeing you? Hell, I can barely stay away from you now. I’d rather not hear about your poor excuse for a man anymore. You need a real man.” He snaked his hand through the hair at the nape of my neck and inched me close. “One who’s right here. Flesh and blood. Who can take care of you.” He dragged his knuckles along my cheek and scraped his thumb across my bottom lip.

  Lost in the weight of his eyes, and the possessiveness of his touch, I fought to tear my gaze from his. Looking down in my lap, I toyed with a thread hanging from my shirt. “I told you . . . He’s away.”

  His focus darted from my pouted lip up to my eyes as he analyzed me. A disbelieving humph escaped his lips. Then he backed away, taking his heat with him, and didn’t say anything more.

  My façade crumbled into dust around me. He was turning me to putty and somehow could see right through my shields, my lies. Like an intimate little chisel, he was breaking me down piece by piece. I was beginning to worry all that would be left was bare bones. “You promised you’d be good,” I whispered.