Live Me Page 28

  “Yes. Just like that.” I shivered noticeably, and he smiled his famous dimpled smile.

  Reaching across the table, he took both my hands in his. “Are you happy?”

  I considered his question before nodding. “I am.”

  And I was.

  He studied me. “Good.” All the words that hadn’t been spoken yet shone through his eyes.

  A waiter cleared his throat beside us, breaking the moment of connection we were sharing. We both deflated back into our chairs, turning our attention to him. He offered us tastings of a few wines, and I thoroughly enjoyed watching Blake swirl the different colored liquids and swish them around in his mouth like a true connoisseur before making his selection. We chose our meals and then were alone once again.

  Knowing how important honesty was to Blake, I needed to clear the air about a few things and make my feelings known. Smoothing my hands over the table, I began, “I have a confession to make.”

  “What is it?” Blake’s lips twisted and deep creases appeared in his forehead. It was the furthest expression I wanted him to wear tonight.

  I winced. “I may or may not have been very close to my last bug out yesterday. I kind of freaked out over tonight and almost called the whole thing off. You put a great amount of effort into today, and I just wanted to say I’m sorry.”

  Blake visibly relaxed. “You’re here, so there’s nothing to be sorry for. And for the record, I think I’m going to ban the use of that word from now on. I don’t like that you use it so often.” He scratched his chin. “Yes, that’s it. I’m administering a ‘sorry’ ban.”

  I frowned. “Well, I am sorry. Look at all the trouble you went to, and I almost messed the whole thing up.”

  “Almost doesn’t count. I know you need baby steps, Eva. It’s all good.” He put his hand over mine. “Now, this is your first date. No negative talk. How do you like the wine?”

  “Please, I’m not finished. Let me get this out.” I fidgeted, pulling my hand from under his.

  Blake’s gaze shifted to where his hand lay empty on the table. He leaned back in his seat. “Go on.”

  “I’m going to mess up. Most likely a lot. Just don’t give up on me, okay? Even if I’m a bitch sometimes or a head case. What I’m feeling for you is serious, and it’s scaring the crap out of me. I’m nervous you’re going to wake up one day and wonder why you wasted your time with the crazy girl. It’ll break my heart, even if it would be the best decision you could make.” I lowered my head, twisting the napkin spread across my thighs.

  Blake stood, walked around the table, and knelt at my side, scooping my restless hands into his sturdy ones. “Look at me, Angel.”

  I glanced in his direction briefly, giving him a half-hearted smile, and then looked back at my lap.

  Blake cupped my chin, forcing my gaze to meet his. “My eyes. Look at my eyes. I want you to know how serious I am.”

  I slowly raised my line of sight until it locked with his penetrating stare. I’d never get used to those eyes and the way they pulled me into him.

  “I need you to listen to everything I’m about to say and take me very seriously, okay?”

  I nodded.

  “A world without you could never be a decision in my best interest, so get that out of your head. It’d be the end of me. Your heart is safe with me. I’ll build a metal fucking cage around it if I have to.” He bore his stare deeper into mine. “You are safe with me. I told you I’ll never do anything to hurt you.” Blake swallowed hard and inhaled a deep fortifying breath. “I love you, Angel. I do. I didn’t want to tell you yet because I was scared you’d run, but I think you need to hear it.”

  Tears filled my worried eyes, burning the back of my throat.

  He loves me.

  “But you can’t . . . you can’t . . .”

  Blake hushed my lips with his finger. “But I do. Love isn’t about sex. It’s about a connection.” He swiped the tear that spilled over onto my cheek. “A commitment. A bond.” He straightened his spine and cupped my cheeks in his hands. “I’m bound to you, Evangelina Ricci. Fuck, if I could tie you to me and wear you as a fucking hat I would.”

  I laughed, closing my eyes, and covered his hand with my own, rubbing my cheek into his palm.

  “I mean it. Please don’t doubt what I feel for you. I’d do anything for you. Anything but walk away. I’m not strong enough for that. Now just relax. Enjoy this for once. Just . . . be with me.” He shrugged, quirking a smile.

  I threw my arms around his neck and held him to me. “God, am I ever. I don’t think I could be anywhere else anymore.”

  I wanted to say it so bad, but I didn’t know if I could. I thought I was incapable, but in my heart I felt it. I felt everything. Him, his words, his . . . everything. He was everything. My savior, my light, my hope. All I’d ever wanted.

  But I still felt guilty doing this to him. It was the worst decision he could make for himself and by reciprocating his love, I felt like I was enabling him. Creating the illusion all would be okay when I still wasn’t convinced it ever could be. But I’d selfishly agreed to this, and I’d selfishly go as far as I could with it, just to be as close to him as possible for as long as he’d have me.

  I looked up as my voice trailed off, unsure if I could say the words. “Blake, I—”

  “Don’t. I don’t want you to say it until you’re ready and I can see that you aren’t. Don’t think I’m insulted because I’m not. I can tell it’s not your feelings for me you doubt. Your doubt is in yourself.” He smiled and cupped my face. “We’ll have to work on that.”

  I sighed and dropped my forehead to his, closing my eyes. Somehow he always pinned down exactly what was inside me. “Thank you. For everything.” I opened my eyes and kissed his nose.

  A slow smile stretched across his face, and he slowly and deliberately scrunched up that nose and sent my panties into a frenzy. I leaned forward and bit him on the tip of that adorably edible nose, taking him by surprise.

  Blake smirked. “It’s not Tuesday.”

  “I know, but I’m starving.”

  He laughed. “Well, we can’t have that now, can we?”

  As if on cue, the waiter appeared with our food, and Blake reclaimed his seat opposite me. Conversation flowed easily as we learned even more about each other. I told him a little about my family and how much I adored them. He seemed surprised since I avoided talking about them and assumed I had a bad home life when it was quite the opposite.

  He mentioned spending the upcoming holidays together and I agreed to consider it. Although it would be hard to have him there, I didn’t really want to go back home alone, and Jace needed to be with his family. Of course, he always showed up for a portion of each holiday to polish off the vodka before his mother demanded he come home.

  Blake and I enjoyed our evening, barely noting the staff’s presence. It was just me and him. And I didn’t just mean in that room. I meant in this life. I could feel it. The shift in the atmosphere as I opened up to him even more. It felt so natural. So good.

  For the first time in years, I felt secure. And I hoped it would stay that way. It all felt too good to be true.

  Dabbing my napkin to the side of my mouth, I placed it beside my plate. “I’m stuffed. That was delicious.”

  “I’m glad you enjoyed it.” Blake checked his watch. “We’ll have dessert at our next destination. Do you mind?”

  “Not at all. I can’t take another bite of anything else right now anyway.”

  “Even if I did this?” Blake scrunched his nose again, and I almost lost it.

  I licked my lips. “Use that sparingly in public if you don’t want me to be a walking pheromone.”

  “Maybe I do.” He winked, and my belly fluttered.

  After he paid, he lifted the rose from the center of the table and handed it to me. “For you.”

  I accepted it and slipped my palm into his. This was already the best first date imaginable, but he’d made reference to dessert, so I kn
ew he wasn’t done. “So, what’s next?”

  “Patience, my dear.” He guided me through the front door and onto the sidewalk.

  “Come on. Tell me,” I pouted.

  “Pa-tience.” He dragged out the word, drifting his eyes to the curb and nodding his head.

  I looked up, expecting to see a livery cab. What I saw instead halted my steps. A pristine white horse flanked with a carriage proudly stood before me. The driver hopped down. “Mr. Turner.” He shook Blake’s hand and moved his eyes to me. “And this must be your angel.”

  “Could she be anything else?” Blake regarded me with pride, brushing the pad of his thumb along my jaw. “After you.”

  A horse and buggy? Is he fucking kidding me?

  Blake gripped my hips, hoisting me inside, and my eyes fell to the rose lying across the seat. I scooped it up with a grin, joining it with the other one I was holding. The driver placed a warm blanket over us, and proceeded to pour us each a glass of wine. Blake wrapped his arm around me, and I snuggled into his warmth.

  The wine coupled with the blanket and Blake’s insane body heat kept the bite out of the November night air. The horse clip-clopped through the streets of the upper west side, and I turned to Blake. “You’re incredible.”

  “I could say the same to you.”

  “No, you can’t.” I laughed. “And don’t downplay your fabulousness.” I wagged a finger at him. “I don’t deserve you.”

  “You deserve more than I could ever give you.” He paused, studying me, his eyes holding a deep sincerity. “I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself. Cheers, Angel.” We clinked glasses, and then he looped his arm through mine, urging me to take a sip through interlocked elbows.

  I was in awe of the beauty of the city this time of night. All of the twinkling lights when they weren’t lost in the hustle and bustle of it all.

  Eventually, the buggy came to a stop in front of one of the most expensive hotels in Manhattan, and my gaze traveled from the golden doors to the roof. I sat up straight. “We’re going in there?”

  “We are.” Blake slipped a bill into the driver’s hand and jumped down, reaching up to me. I supported my weight on his shoulders, and he dragged his hands along the full expanse of my sides taking his time, eyes locked heavily onto mine. His muscles expanded as he kept control of how slowly he slid me down against the hard front of him.

  “I’m going to feast on you tonight, Evangelina. I’m a starved man,” Blake rasped in my ear.

  Warmth flooded my entire body and, when he set me on my feet, I wasn’t sure I could walk unassisted. Sensing my vulnerability, Blake gave me a minute to steady myself.

  “Is that what you meant by dessert?” I asked.

  He licked his lips. “You have no idea what’s in store for you. Let’s just say, I intend to obliterate any doubts you might still have.” His eyes penetrated mine.

  I simply gulped, heated vibrations engulfing me at the prospect.

  Blake didn’t let me ponder his words for too long. He wrapped his arms around me and led me toward the door. “Come on, you’re freezing.” He must have mistaken the goose bumps lining my skin as a reaction to the cold when, in fact, my body was on fire. It was like a five alarm with a side of dizzy little chills.

  Bypassing the front desk, Blake walked us straight to the elevator, not giving me enough time to appreciate the expensive looking lobby donned with golds and zebra prints and a floor that looked so nice I almost thought I should take my shoes off.

  He pushed the button that would take us to the highest point where my eyes had drifted to minutes before when we pulled up. Resting against the back of the elevator, he pulled me to his front, wrapping his arms around my waist, and placed a kiss to the side of my neck while we took the long ride up to the roof.

  I melted into his touch, closing my eyes and reveling in his closeness. I unconsciously pressed my backside into his length, purring like a kitten at the feel of it growing against me. Blake growled into my ear and caught the lobe between his teeth. “Patience, Angel. Or we aren’t setting foot outside this elevator.”

  “I’m fine with that,” I breathed, suddenly needing more and not caring what his plans had been. I turned abruptly and caged him with my arms, flicking my tongue out to brush his lips. “I don’t think I can wait, Blake. I want you. Bad.”

  I didn’t know what happened between yesterday and today and frankly, I didn’t care.

  At my sudden assertiveness, Blake’s pupils expanded to take me in. With a grunt, he wrapped an arm around my waist and hoisted my leg up to hug his hip with the other, then he ground himself into me.

  “You feel that?”

  “Yes.” I panted, throwing my head back at the feel of him. How could I ever have denied myself this? What the hell had I been so scared of?

  “See what you do to me?” He skimmed his hand under my skirt and cupped my bare ass, making me whimper as he pulled me deeper into his steely erection. “You drive me in-fucking-sane.” He dragged one long finger along the slim line of my sex. “And in a little while, I’m going to bury myself so deep inside you, you’re going to think you grew a new body part. But right now—you’re getting the rest of your date.” His hand left me then as he forcefully grabbed my thigh.

  My breathing was coming out in ragged spurts as I dug my fingernails into his upper arms and ground my forehead into his shoulder. “Why are you torturing me?”

  “Torture?” He chuckled. “What I’m going to do to you can hardly be classified as torture. Anticipation heightens everything. I can smell your arousal seeping out through your legs and my dick is aching to find it and claim it. It’ll make it that much better when I finally do. And I’m going to. Repeatedly.” He smirked knowingly.

  “But just to ease your grief . . .” He slammed his hand against the controls, bringing the car to an abrupt standstill. Mischief, playfulness and need seeped out of his electric blue irises as he threw my back against the wall and slowly, deliberately lowered himself to kneel before me. He took my ankle in his hand and draped it over his shoulder. “Hold on. This is going to be quick.”

  Bracing myself on the metal rail, I did just that. Blake hooked his thumb inside the thin strip of my thong and pulled it aside, caressing my clit in slow, soothing circles as he did. “A fucking peach.” His tongue started at my opening and slipped up to the bundle of nerves perched at the top. Then he closed his mouth around it, his eyes shutting as he sucked greedily.

  The muscles in my belly drew in and my legs gave way. I held on tightly while Blake dug his fingers into my thighs, supporting me. “Come for me, baby. Show me what I do to you. That I’m yours.” He slipped a finger into my tight channel and sent me over the edge. I clawed his head and ground my pelvis against his face, screaming out his name as my body bucked and pulsed with my release.

  Blake moaned between my legs, careful not to miss a drop of my need as I folded myself around him, unable to remain upright. Then he brought my leg down slowly and scooped me into his arms. “All mine.”

  I nuzzled my face into his chest, panting and in a state of euphoric shock. “You spoil me.”

  “No, I treasure you. I just know how to properly express it.” He reached around me and pressed the button that would allow us to ascend the rest of the way. When the doors parted, Blake swiped his thumb along his mouth, which still glistened with my juices, erasing the evidence of my lust that still clung to his lips. With a wicked grin, he stepped out onto the rooftop, taking me with him.

  With legs like jelly, I followed. “Wow.”

  He smiled down at me. “See why we couldn’t skip this?”

  I gazed in wonder, trying to catalog every detail of this night into memory. It felt like we were on top of the world, walking across the pinnacle of the city through the clouds. Set up like a lounge, tables and cushy white couches lined it. The city glowed beneath us and I was secretly jealous this wasn’t my rooftop. It was still fairly early so there weren’t many people around and that was fine b
y me.

  We ordered drinks at the bar and chose an out of the way table overlooking the bright lights of the skyline, the smooth voice of Frank Sinatra playing in the background.

  “This is amazing. You’re amazing. Where’ve you been all my life?” I admired Blake.

  “Life?” he scoffed playfully. “What life?” Then his eyes were serious. “I don’t think I lived until you. I thought I did, but now I know I was only just existing. Gliding along, waiting for you.” He brushed at my lips, seeming to study me. “You’re my life now. My feelings for you are deeper than you could ever imagine.”

  What do you say to that? I stared at him, my mouth close to touching the table.

  He let out a soft chuckle at my loss for words. “I’ll be right back.” He pushed up, closing my mouth for me, and I leaned back in my chair, embarrassed.

  I watched the tight muscles of his backside walk away, loving the smooth strides he took. The man was perfection and it blew my mind that he was mine. I intended on showing him how grateful I was of that fact later. This felt like a dream I would wake up from to find it was all something I’d conjured up in my mind. Things like this didn’t happen to me. I reached down, pinching myself on the hand, expecting to wake up a sweaty, shaky mess, but it never came.

  Blake returned moments later. “Penny for your thoughts?”

  I felt a glisten in my eye as I struggled to keep my emotions at bay. “I love you.” I threw my hand over my mouth. I hadn’t meant to blurt it out, but as I watched the knowing smile spread across his face, that dimple I loved so fucking much showing itself, I lowered my hand and looked at him with determination. “I love you, Blake.”

  Blake scooped up that hand and kissed my knuckles before turning it around and pushing his lips into my palm. “Dance with me.”

  I looked around, self conscious even though there wasn’t more than a stray couple here or there. But, if I was being honest, I was a little disappointed that was his only response to the most raw and honest thing I’d ever stated in my life. Didn’t he know what a big step that was for me?

  At my hesitation, Blake stepped behind me, sliding back my chair. “Please.”