Live Me Read online

  “Care to join us for our pre-gaming extravaganza?” Blake raised a glass and tipped his head toward it, breaking me out of my reverie.

  “Sure. I could use a stiff one.” My eyes were lit with humor as I made my way over to them, making sure to sway my hips just right.

  Violent coughing raked through him once again. When he was able to catch his breath, he looked at me out of the corner of his eye as I rounded the edge of the kitchen bar. “You’re killin’ me. You know that, woman?”

  The edge of my mouth quirked up in a sly grin. I reached up on my tippy toes, making sure to elongate my body as I grabbed another shot glass down from the cabinet. When I turned around, Blake’s eyes were glued to my legs, or ass, or both. His mouth hung agape.

  “Fill ‘er up.” I placed the glass in front of him. Since he was always messing with me, I thought I’d have a little fun with Blake tonight, but now that I was so close, it was hard to play this game. The smell of his cologne curled its way up my nostrils and into my brain, causing my eyes to close for the briefest of seconds while I took it in. The scent of him freshly showered had me picturing him standing under the hot stream. His head tipped back, dragging his fingers through his hair, water beading up on his tanned skin.

  Oh, dear God.

  I panted under the weight that was placed on my chest. Standing this close to him was out of the question, so I rounded the bar to distance myself. He slid the now full glass in my direction and, when I went to pick it up, my fingers brushed his, sending an electric shock up my arm.

  My hand recoiled from the buzz, and I spilled a little of my drink on the counter.

  “Damn.”

  “It’s okay. No worries.” Blake topped off my glass, then filled the other two for him and Jace.

  Jace looked back and forth between Blake and me. “Seriously, you could cut the sexual tension in here with a knife. Just go at it already. My dick’s getting hard just looking at you guys. Go ahead,” he brushed both hands toward us, “unleash your sexy beasts.”

  “Jace! Seriously? Shut up, wise ass.”

  “I’m not being a wise ass. I’m seriously tenting over here.” He gestured to the bulge in his jeans where the material actually did look a little strained.

  “Wow. Now that’s an accomplishment. I must be better than I thought. It’s usually you turning people to the opposite team.” I raised my eyebrows, amused.

  He rolled his eyes up to the ceiling. “Yeah, well, I’m not proud of it. And if you tell anyone I’ll kill you, but what the fuck, guys? This is like watching porn that never goes anywhere. It’s torturous! Are you two for real? Do you not see what’s going on?”

  Blake replied to Jace, but kept his eyes on me as he spoke, “I told Angel all she has to do is say the words and I’ll handle the rest. But she just . . . won’t . . . say it.” He shrugged.

  “Well, what the hell are you waiting for, Angel?” Jace asked, impatient.

  “Shut up, Jace. And enough with this conversation. Come on, let’s go.” I lifted my glass, raised one arched eyebrow and glared at them with a look that said ‘you better shut the fuck up and join me’.

  “Brute. You don’t scare me, ya know.” Jace raised his glass.

  “Oh no? Then why are you doing what I said?”

  He jutted his chin out in a sulk. “I’m just being polite. I don’t want to embarrass you in front of Blake. And besides, I never turn down alcohol.”

  “Yeah, okay.” I giggled, holding the glass in the air. “To fresh starts.”

  In unison, Blake and Jace repeated, “To fresh starts.” We all kicked our heads back and swallowed the sweet liquid.

  Our glasses came slamming down, and my eyes sought out Blake’s once again. It was like they didn’t know how to look anywhere else when he was around. He was magnetic. He had a way of looking right through me, like he was actually looking into my soul. His eyes stayed trained and focused on mine, barely pausing to blink. It was unsettling and yet I couldn’t help but do it back.

  “You ready to get this party started?” Jace’s voice broke through my thoughts.

  “Sure.” I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear and gave Blake a half smile.

  Blake stood protectively in front of me as our bodies were jostled about on the number one train heading down to Forty Second Street. I was pressed against the metal doors, and to my left, a man lay spread out across four seats, the stench deep within the threads of his worn and tattered clothes.

  Jace, feeling good I could imagine, was skipping through the car, wrapping his arm around the poles and twirling around them. “Wanna see something?” he asked before spinning around with his arms extended like a ring leader at the circus. “Ladies and gentlemen, can I have your attention, please. What you are about to witness will leave you breathless. It will blow your mind.”

  Only a handful of people glanced warily to observe Jace’s spectacle. This was New York, after all. Weirdos came a dime a dozen, and most people just went about their business uncaring.

  “Please, stand back,” he called out again, and a few more heads rose.

  I bit my lip and shook my head, knowing what he was about to do. Blake stayed close, but turned, curious.

  Jace raised his arms above his head, sought out my eyes to give me a wink, and then took off down the subway car in a round off followed by three back handsprings, missing the poles by mere centimeters. He landed with a bounce to his step and a huge smile on his face as the car erupted in gasps, applause, and whistles.

  I had to admit, he was good. It took a lot to get the attention of people in Manhattan.

  He circled his arm in front of him himself as he bowed three times. “Thank you very much. Don’t forget to tip your waitress,” he joked.

  People stuck out their hands, waving dollar bills at him.

  “Why, thank you,” he clutched his chest, blushing. He came back to us with a fistful of money. “Drinks are on me, guys.”

  “That was awesome, bro. I didn’t know you could do that.” Blake was genuinely shocked.

  Jace rubbed his knuckles over his chest. “I know. I’m just a bundle of talent bursting at the seams.” We all laughed and Jace leaned forward looking through the Plexiglass window. “This is us, guys.”

  The subway car came to a stop, letting out a puff of air, and the doors glided open. Blake placed his hand on the small of my back and guided me off the train onto the hot, smelly platform. He took my hand and I let him. I liked when he did that.

  Jace looked around and found his bearings. “Follow me.”

  We emerged from below the belly of Manhattan into the cool night air and began the short walk to the club. Underdressed, I shivered and curled inward to block the wind. I probably should have worn a jacket, but I hated bringing them inside.

  Blake noticed and wrapped his arm around my middle, bringing me closer to his insane body heat. I welcomed the warmth and nestled myself further. He looked down at me with a little smile playing on his lips, and I thought how nice it was that he was always so attentive and how comfortable it felt to be wrapped up in his arms.

  “Thanks,” I said through lowered lashes.

  “My pleasure.” He squeezed my hip.

  As we neared the club, I noticed the familiar rainbow flag proudly hanging from the side of the building, and I was at ease. Jace knew these were the only clubs I was comfortable in that didn’t have a bar separating me from the patrons. No threats I couldn’t handle. No one was interested in me.

  Blake seemed to be in his own world and hadn’t noticed yet. We walked up to the velvet ropes, and Jace happily hopped us right to the front of the line where a very large, bald man stood, wearing a black T-shirt that looked like it was about to burst at the seams under the pressure of the muscles bulging beneath it.

  “Man, that’s a big dude.” Blake eyed the bouncer as though he’d just shrunk to my size.

  “Hey . . .” Jace called out, smiling and waving.

  “Hey, boy. Get your ass over here,
” the bouncer called back, gleaming.

  Jace peaked up on his tippy toes to plant a kiss on the man’s cheek. “Henry, you remember Eva.” He gestured to me.

  “Hi, Eva. Looking stunning as usual.” Henry smiled warmly at me.

  “Why, thank you, Henry.” I smiled back.

  Jace motioned to Blake. “And this fine fellow is her new boy-toy, Blake.”

  “Yum.” Henry eyed Blake like dinner.

  “Down, Henry. This one’s off limits,” Jace chided.

  Henry stuck out his hand. “Nice to meet you, Blake.”

  Blake returned the gesture. “Um, nice to meet you, too.” The curious expression on his face was adorable.

  Henry unclipped the velvet rope and held it to the side. “Go on in, guys. Enjoy yourselves.”

  “Thanks, Henry,” I called back over my shoulder as we scooted inside the darkened club.

  The vibrations emanating from every wall beat deep into my chest. No matter how many times I felt it, I couldn’t help the thrill that washed over me every time I took the first few steps into a club. It was invigorating. I loved to dance, and a gay club was the only place I could really let loose and enjoy myself.

  We paid at the ticket counter and stepped inside. Fluorescent lights swirled around the dance floor in countless shapes and sizes. It smelled of sweat and musk and raw skin and sex. Gyrating bodies and people singing loudly consumed every inch. Usually, I’d panic and feel claustrophobic, but not here. Here I was safe.

  Blake looked around, taking in his surroundings. The shocked expression on his face was priceless. Big men, small men, fit men, out of shape men, all groping at each other and all having the time of their lives.

  “A gay club? You guys took me to a gay club?” He looked back and forth to me and Jace, who was grinning wider than I’d ever seen. “I’m gonna get eaten alive in here.”

  “Calm down, handsome.” Jace petted Blake’s chest. “No one’s gonna bother you. We stick to our own kind.” Although he was smiling, I could tell he was gauging Blake’s reaction and was ready to pounce if it was the wrong one.

  Blake raised his eyebrows. “Whatever, but I’m telling you right now, the only hands that touch my ass better be attached to this gorgeous little blonde girl, or I’m outta here.” We all laughed, and Jace relaxed.

  “Come on, Romeo. I’ll buy you a drink for being such a good sport.” I tugged at Blake’s arm.

  “Way to totally emasculate me. Thank you, but I don’t think so. Come on, I got you. Besides, I probably have a better shot of getting us drinks quicker than you do in here, anyway.” He moved behind me and placed his hands on my hips, ushering me through the crowd.

  We walked to the glowing bar and waited among the sea of men. Blake leaned into my ear. “I’m so gonna get you for this. You better not leave my side. You’re not even allowed to go to the bathroom tonight.”

  I turned, putting my back to the bar, and wrapped my arms around his neck. I gave him a peck on the cheek, giggling, “Just relax, you’re fine. Try and have a good time.” After a couple of rounds and a few shots, I collected my Ketel One and Seven with a lime, and Blake scooped up his Corona. “Come on, dance with me. It’ll loosen you up.”

  We squeezed our way onto the crowded dance floor, and I twirled around to face Blake. Raising my glass, I grabbed his free hand, swirling my hips in smooth, languid movements, inviting him to join me. Distracted, his eyes darted around as his feet shuffled to an awkward rhythm. Wanting him to relax, I secured his chin between my thumb and index finger and brought his sights back to mine. Tension left his body as I took my two fingers and pointed them toward his eyes and then back to my own, telling him to stay focused on me.

  A freeing feeling came over me and I stepped closer, leaving only a couple of inches between us, and began to move. Taking my invitation, he grabbed my hip and mirrored my motions. I slid my hand up the front of his firm chest, enjoying the way it twitched under my fingers. Cupping the back of his neck, I rested my forehead against him, closing my eyes as our bodies swayed. This was the first time I’d allowed myself to touch anyone in this capacity; felt a man’s body against my own and liked it. Actually, I thought, I loved it. I’d spent weeks pushing Blake away, scared of this very moment even though I was constantly dreaming of it. And now that it was here, I wanted more.

  Blake’s hungry hands grabbed my drink and set his and mine on a stage behind us. He leaned forward, curving his body into me. It fit like a piece to a puzzle. His leg moved between mine, and our bodies, closer than ever, rocked in perfect sync. He slid his hands to the base of my spine, just bordering my ass and locked his arm there, pressing me to him. In that moment, I wanted him to want me. To want only me. I laced my fingers through his hair and pushed my pelvis forward.

  Blake growled in my ear. “I’m seriously going to bite you.” He flicked his tongue on my lobe, and I nearly lost it. I pressed my forehead against his and held him firmly to myself, making sure every piece of me was touching every piece of him.

  Our hearts were banging against each others, amplified by the pounding of the bass pressing in on us. I curled my leg around his hip, and he snaked his hand around my thigh, pulling me deeper into him and tipping me back. I gasped as the hard fabric of his jeans bit into the thin material covering my most delicate area. My head dropped back, unable to withstand the pressure building inside any more. My God, this feels amazing.

  Blake leaned into me, raining kisses down the length of my neck, nipping and sucking at my collarbone. My grip tightened in his hair, and I pushed my hips further into his as I slowly lifted my head and sought out his eyes. His pupils were dilated, his blue irises noticeably darker even beneath the bright fluorescent lighting. Our breathing was labored as we stayed motionless in that position, staring at one another. After a moment, Blake released my leg and ghosted his fingers up my back before burying them deep into my hair. Dragging his teeth up my jawline, he sucked my lobe into his mouth. My knees buckled and I fell into him, using his body as support.

  He breathed into my ear, “Let’s get out of here. What I want to do to you can’t be done in the middle of a dance floor.”

  Those words should have scared the shit out of me, but I wanted this. I was tired of being that girl. This all felt so good. I wanted to finally see where it would take me.

  I nodded my head.

  Wasting no time, Blake took my hand and headed for the front door.

  “Wait.” I stopped him and his head fell forward as he took a deep breath. His eyes started to fill with disappointment, thinking I’d changed my mind again.

  I squeezed his hand, reassuring him. “I have to find Jace and tell him we’re leaving.”

  A relieved smile spread across his lips. He guided me back, scanning the crowd. I was too short to see over everyone, so it was up to Blake to find him. Then it hit me. I knew exactly where he was. “Follow me.”

  We weaved through the masses until Jace came into view, twirling around a pole and dancing for some lucky stranger. The guy was staring at him in awe. Blake hoisted me up, and I climbed on top of the box with Jace.

  Excitement filled Jace’s eyes as he pulled me into him. He grabbed onto the pole and thrust his hips at me in an attempt to put on our usual show for the crowd. But I just couldn’t play tonight. I was too worked up, and my mind was too preoccupied to focus on anything but Blake and getting the hell out of here.

  Not giving myself the opportunity to change my mind, I leaned into his ear and told him we were leaving, then I gave him a kiss. “Get home safe. Text me when you get there and don’t bring home any strangers.” I swatted his behind playfully.

  “Okay, but I make no promises to your last request.” He wiggled sweaty eyebrows.

  I waved Blake closer, and braced myself on his shoulders. The corner of his mouth hitched up, and he placed his palms on my bare thighs. He rounded the backs of my legs and slid them up, scooping me under the ass and pulling me down to him. Flying forward, I let out a yelp as
we collided, and then he braced me against him.

  I landed with my belly lined up with his face, and he placed a kiss in the center before dragging our bodies along one another. Lowering me, his face came closer, and when our lips were finally adjacent, we lingered there, less than a breath away. I ached to rid ourselves of our clothes and feel his skin against mine. Keeping me pressed to him, he lowered me until my toes hit the floor.

  With his fierce eyes locked on me, he extended his fist up toward Jace. “Later, my man.”

  “Later.” Jace pounded Blake’s fist. “Oh, Eva, darling?”

  I tore my eyes from Blake, the delicate area between my thighs throbbing. “Yeah?”

  “Come here, would you?” Jace lowered himself onto his belly and hung forward on the box.

  I walked up to him, and he grabbed me by the back of the head and searched my eyes before leaning into my ear. “You okay with this? You want to leave with him?”

  I didn’t know if it was the alcohol or if I’d finally had enough, but I wanted nothing more than to get the hell out of here as fast possible. I nodded, knowing he could see the fight in my eyes, but also what I was ready to be rid of—the past. Then I saw the blessing there as he released me. “Then go, but call me if you need anything or if you change your mind.”

  “I will. Love.”

  “Love.” Jace stood back up and Blake grabbed my hand, turning to leave.

  “Oh, and Blake?”

  Blake stopped and turned back him. “Yeah?”

  “Take care of my girl.”

  Blake’s smile stretched across his face. “Oh, I intend to. Don’t you worry about that.” He ran his thumb over my palm and a quake rocketed down my spine.

  Tugging him beside me, I waved to Jace with my free hand, and we made our way to the exit.

  Cool air coated my overheated body. Although it sent a shiver coursing through me, I welcomed the temperature change. I felt like I was on fire. Groaning, I threw my head back. “I’m so not in the mood to walk.”